Dear Parents,
This is not a letter to tell you how to be a better parent but simply an observation I've made over the past month that is worth thinking about. Some of my children are involved in dance and they love it. The oldest of these attended an out of town festival at the end of March. It was a good experience and she really enjoyed it. Some things that occurred at this festival prompted me to write this letter.
The first day of the festival my daughter's lyrical class performed. Due to the small size of the festival, there were different age and dance levels being adjudicated together. I have no problem with that as long as the adjudicator appears to be keeping that in mind when comparing the numbers. However, as my daughter and some of her friends were congratulating the other dancers, the kids from one of the other studios completely ignored them. Few things seem more rude to me than not acknowledging someone when they offer their congratulations. A smile, a nod, a simple thank you or even a reciprocation of congratulations is all it takes. You don't have to become best buddies afterwards. I don't know if this is a result of teacher instruction or some kind of competition mindset but it's a dance festival not the world championships.
The other thing I observed is that the aforementioned dance studio liked to put a whole bunch of younger dancers in with a few older star dancers and then compete in a lower age and level category while showcasing the star dancers. That's not to say their younger dancers weren't good but showcasing the great dancers all the time is not doing the other kids any good. One older boy would do a series of fouette turns or other such move while a bunch of younger girls would do simpler moves in the background. I was infinitely more impressed by a number from my daughter's studio that had five or six girls doing fouette turns at the same time and staying in sync, for the most part. The reason they could have choreography like that is because the girls were all at a similar skill level.
That is the thing that annoyed me the most, the obvious deception being perpetrated by the other studio in purposely putting their dancers together in such a way that they compete at a lower level and therefore have a better chance of "winning" against other kids who actually belong in the lower level.
I ask you parents: What are your kids really learning? When their dance studio or sports team pulls stunts like this what are the kids learning? Are they learning to do their best win or lose and to always be a good sport? Or are they learning that a little lying and deception are okay as long as you win? It's something to think about.
Sincerely,
Me
